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Effie Olivia Barrow 24th Feb. 1924 - 13th June 1968
MEMORIES LAST FOREVER
Effie Olivia Blackman Barrow
24th Feb. 1924 - 13th June 1968
6-13-2020 Shereda re-cap of Mom last moments 6-13-1968
It was early on a bright and sunny Thursday morning that you woke me up about 5:00 am and told me that, "It was time"; the baby that you were carrying was about to make its grand entrance! You told me to go and get Ms. Gray, the midwife, and our neighbor who lived in the yard directly behind us. I quickly got dressed, jumped over the fence and frantically knocked on her door and summons her, like you told me to. I quickly returned to check on you while we waited for Ms. Gray to come. You were lying in your bed, and I could tell that you were uncomfortable. Now I know that you were in "active labor"! You asked me to put some "Red Lavender" in a glass of water for you to drink; and I did. Shortly thereafter Ms Gray arrived she joined you in your bedroom and she closed all the doors. She asked me to boil a pot of water; and I did! I was the only one of your children who was awake at the time; Lois and Sherryl Barrow were still asleep. I did not want to wake them up just yet; Daddy and Raymond were at work in San Luis, miles away; Patrick Barrow was in Los Angeles; Guy and Bunny Barrow, were with their respective families.
I remember that it was a beautiful and pleasant June morning! Suddenly, Ms Gray rushed out of your room and called for me and told me that she had to get you to the hospital quickly, and she needed to get a taxi to take you! Somewhere in the commotion, Ms Benita Mencias, our next door neighbor, was alerted and she came over; and out of no where appeared a taxi. But before they took you away, I went in to see you. You were snoring very hard; I could only see the whites of your eyes as they fluttered and rolled up; and your feet were twitching from side to side. I think that I told you that I loved you; I think that I told you that you were scaring me; I think that I told you that everythig would be alright, I think! I held your feet, and remembered that they were iced cold. Little did I know then that you already suffered a fatal "brain aneurysm"! In my 15 1/2 year on mind, I was rehearsing what I would say to you when you returned with my new baby sibling!
I was going to tell you how much you scared me by what was happening to you. Then, Ms. Gray, Ms. Benita, and the taxi driver, [there may have been others; I cannot remember] carried you out and down the stairs of 151 New Road and placed you in the taxi, across the laps of Ms Benita and Ms Gray, because at that time we had no ambulance service; and they drove off with you and your "pre-packed" bag. I truly believed that in a few minutes that I would have received the news of the gender of our new sibling! That was about 7:20 am. All the while, I could only think about "scolding" you for scaring me. By that time both Sherryl and Lois were awake and I helped them to get dressed. It was a school day, but I was not preparing to go to school because I had to "watch" my sisters while you were at the hospital!
Wow, little did I know or understood how my life would forever be changed on that fateful Thursday morning! At around 8:00 am Ms. Benita returned, and although I saw that she brought back your bag, in my mind I thought that she was bringing back the baby's clothes. I eagerly inquired, "Well, what do I have? A little Sister or little Brother?" In a very soft voice Ms Benita said, "Shereda I need to tell you something. You need to sit down". But I couldn't sit down because I was too excited to hear what new sibling I had and how quickly I could get to the hospital to see you and my new sibling. But, Ms Benita insisted that I sit down. I still didn't, because I was in the kitchen preparing breakfast for Lois, Sherryl and myself. She placed her hands on my shoulders and said, "Your Mommy is not coming back; Your Mommy just died on her way to the hospital, at about 7:30 am"!
I was stunned into temporary silence. When I regained my voice, I asked her to repeat what she just told me, and she said, "Effie is dead"! Ms Benita continued to tell me that as the taxi turned the corner by St. Mary's Church on the way to the hospital, was when your mother took her last breath. She said that she and Ms Gray checked her "belly" for signs of movement from the unborn baby, but up until Effie arrived at the hospital, there was no movement!
I was struck by a lightening bolt, I started screaming! I screamed so hard, that I scared Lois and Sherryl and they started to cry. Then, all that I could think of was that I needed to tell my Big Cuzn Patricia Bradley. That is when I ran like a deranged person, down the stairs and through the streets, running by many of my BTC classmates who were on their way to school, who did not yet know my story, but tried to confort me anyway. I was bound and determined to get to Patty's house. I balled all the way there and when I saw my Cuzn, I sweezed her and screamed, "MOMMY IS DEAD! MOMMY IS DEAD! Patty tells me [afterwards] that I squeezed her so tightly that she couldn't breathe! I held onto my Cuzn and I screamed; and I screamed some more. And then suddenly a calm or peace fell over me and I stopped screaming. I had to get back home to my sisters because they had not had their breakfast.. that I was making for them. So Mommy, I could not tell you just how much you scared me, because the last time I spoke with you was before Ms. Gray arrived and when you left home, you never returned. I could not hug you!
I subsequently learned that you carried a "full term Baby Girl" who would have been about 8 lbs had you birth her. I could not affectionately hold and cuddle my new Baby Sister! For this reason I declined to view her body before they placed her between your legs in the casket with you, because I did not want to have her face ingrained in my psyche. I never knew her, and I did not want to carry memories of a "dead" Baby Sister" around with me. Baby Sis would have turned 52 years on this day. I do not remember if you and Daddy had already picked out a name for her back then! I do not recall that Daddy ever mentioned a name in all of the chaos, or anytime after. And now, here it is, 52 years later! My O my, time have gone by so quickly it seems. I can now remember and talk about that fateful day without tearing up too much [but I still do]! We love you; but I know that God loved you more! It is not my place to question God's infinite wisdom; neither can I think that you "died before your time at the young age of 44 years", like some were saying back then! He IS The Author and Finisher of our faith; The Alpha and the Omega; The Beginning and The End! In my Christian walk I've learned that God told us in advance that "For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die." Eccl 3: 1-2a Your season had come and God called you home. So now, in honor of your memory, and the love that your children, Lois, Patrick Barrow, Bunny Barrow, me, and Sherryl, have for you, Mommy, we have given your grave a new upgraded "make-over!
We also added Raymond's name on a new headstone for all to know that "Here lies a Mother and her first born child, together for eternity". I believe in my heart and in my spirit that you are pleased with the colors that I chosed. I remembered you in life used to love and enjoyed the color green, because that was the color you chosed for the walls inside our family home at 151 New Road! We love and miss you dearly, Mommy.
I won't lie; we wish that you could have stuck around long enough to see us grow into adults; and get to hug our children and grandchildren. But we take comfort knowing that you are keeping watch over us, and all of your Grandchildren, Great Grandchildren, and Great Great Grandchildren located in California, Virginia and Florida, [and perhaps other States and countries that I may not be aware of]; even as Sherryl lay in a hospital bed recovering from a surgical procedure in Louisville, KY, your spirit is with her! We will never stop loving you! We thank you for the wonderful and pleasant memories you left us with and the legacy you left behind.
There are many who are still alive who share fond memories of your generosity to their families when they were littke kids. When we hear from others on how much you meant to them and their parents, it brings us much joy! Many fondly remembers, "Ms Effie" or "Ms Barrow" and they share so many inspiring and beautiful memories of the phenomenal woman you were! I thank you that you always had "enough" to share with others. I thank you for all the love that you showered on your children, as well as the care and concern that you showed to countless families in the neighborhood! I thank God for blessing me to be your child. I would not want to have any other woman to call "Mommy", but you! Continue to rest peacefully; and in the sweet by and by, we will once again meet and reunite across the bridge on that distant and beautiful shore.
